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A few months later – and okay, I know this is kind of a theme, but that’s just how things worked out – I met this girl in a bar in Shinjuku and we ended up in a love hotel. If you want a vivacious woman who takes an active role in lovemaking then, I dunno, maybe go to Brazil or something, but definitely not Japan.

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I think we were going somewhere to play pool, but I’m not really sure why.

I moved here permanently in 2008, at which point I gave up eating cheeseburgers, wearing wrinkled t-shirts, and speaking English.

I first came to Japan in 2003, and started studying Japanese shortly thereafter.

I spend a tremendous amount of time asking Japanese people, in Japanese, what they think about Japan, love, sex, foreigners, language, and everything else under the sun.

This seems to elicit very different results than speaking in English.

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I also had hundreds of papers to grade, articles to file for magazines and newspapers, books to research and write. “He was so boring,” I told Dana, my former college roommate, on the phone after a nice date with a nice man who was nice looking.